I dreamed I had divorced my current husband and moved back to my hometown and started dating an old boyfriend named Paul who I had the most special connection with of any of my relationships. We have not spoken in 10 years. In my dream Paul and I were lying in the grass in his front yard. It was a warm summer night with a light breeze and very pleasant. He was lying behind me, spooning me with his hands on my hip. He told me multiple stories about his day at work and all of his stories were either amusing or thought provoking. At one point I laughed out loud and he pulled me closer into him. I remember thinking I was so glad I had chosen him. My current real life husband, who was my ex-husband in my dream, isn’t communicative and the lack of communication is a source of great depression for me. So having a partner share and communicate so freely made me feel so airy and free and light. Almost intoxicated with joy. He then started singing a song called Mad World. The lyrics he sang into my ear were: Went to school, and I was very nervous No one knew me, no one knew me Hello teacher, tell me, what's my lesson? Look right through me, look right through me [Chorus] And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you, I find hard to take When people run in circles, it's a very, very Mad world, mad world He didn’t know I knew the song, but I let him know I did. Even though the lyrics were sad, it felt like a gift he shared with me. I was so very happy because this dream seemed 100% real. Usually I can tell I’m dreaming, but when I woke up I immediately started crying quietly because I realized it wasn’t real. I couldn’t stop crying for quite some time.
Your dream appears to be rich with emotional symbolism and reflections of your current state of mind. Let's delve into the various elements to understand what this dream might be conveying to you.
Divorce and Relocation: The act of divorcing your current husband in the dream suggests a desire for change and perhaps a reassessment of your relationship. This could be rooted in your feelings of unhappiness due to a lack of communication in your current marriage. Moving back to your hometown signifies a longing for comfort, familiarity, and possibly a simpler time in your life when connections felt stronger and more genuine.
Old Boyfriend Paul: Paul represents a significant emotional connection from your past, one that is filled with nostalgia and warmth. Dreaming about him indicates that you may be reflecting on what you truly value in a relationship—intimacy, communication, and emotional support. The choice of Paul specifically suggests that you are evoking feelings of safety and understanding that perhaps are missing in your current relationship.
The Setting: Lying in the grass on a warm summer night evokes an idyllic scene, symbolizing peace, openness, and vulnerability. This setting creates a contrast with your waking life, where you may feel constricted or isolated due to the lack of emotional connection with your husband. The pleasant atmosphere of the dream hints at your desire for joy and connection, which you find with Paul.
Communication: The act of Paul sharing stories about his day signifies a deep-seated need for open communication. In your current life, it seems that you're craving the kind of conversational intimacy that allows you to feel seen and heard. Paul's engaging stories and the genuine laughter you share symbolizes how nourishing relationships can be when both partners are communicative.
Singing "Mad World": The choice of this particular song is profound. The lyrics communicate themes of isolation and melancholy, reflecting feelings you might not have expressed openly. While the song itself is about the struggles of navigating life and feeling misunderstood, Paul’s singing it to you may represent a form of vulnerable sharing—a gift of emotional understanding. It suggests that you deeply resonate with the sentiments expressed in the song, possibly relating to feelings of disconnection in your current reality.
Emotional Aftermath: Crying upon waking illustrates how potent and real this experience felt to you. It indicates a strong sense of loss, not just for the dream experience, but perhaps also for the elements of joy, connection, and communication that you wish were more present in your current relationship. This emotional response highlights the gap between your dreams (both literal and metaphorical) and your waking life.
In summary, your dream expresses a longing for emotional connection, open communication, and a safe, supportive relationship that might currently feel lacking. It encourages you to reflect on what you truly desire in your relationships and may urge you to explore ways to enhance the emotional dynamics in your current marriage. In doing so, you can start to reshape your waking life to mirror the joy and warmth you experienced in your dream with Paul.